Healing From Affairs
Providing Individual, Couple’s and Family Therapy in Chester County
One of my specialties is couple’s therapy. Even during the extremely hard times, if you still want to save your relationship, there is still real hope: highly distressed couples, with support, can reconnect and renew their bond.
There are many issues that can feel threatening to a couple:
- Are you stressed-out because you don’t feel as connected with your partner as you once were?
- Is your partner becoming more distant and withdrawn? Or are they very angry and confrontational?
- Do your fights frequently seem the same and are you frustrated because there is never really true resolution?
- Is the intimacy you once shared much less frequent?
- Do you fear the possibility of an affair? Or has your partner been unfaithful?
- In this age of easy and available technology, have you or your partner developed an addiction to porn?
The outcomes of couple’s therapy can lead to:
- Greater connection.
- Deeper insight and understanding of what factors are leading to stress in your relationship (and how to change them).
- Heightened ability to communicate.
- Restoring trust.
- Developing and maintaining a stronger, more loving (and lasting) bond.
- Giving couples the ability to successfully navigate life’s transitions: marriage, having children, career changes, the empty nest syndrome, and retiring together happily.
Successful relationships can significantly improve our overall health, happiness, well-being and even longevity. Healing your primary relationship can lead to a profound and positive difference in your quality of life.
The model I use most often use with couples is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which was created by Dr. Sue Johnson. This is a highly respected and researched model, with well over 20 years of studies that support it. Results from this research show that a more secure, loving and lasting bond is created in 75% of the distressed couples that go through the EFT process (90% of couples report improvement in their relationship). Additionally, because of the attachment needs that this model is based on are universally experienced, this perspective has been shown to be effective for all couples, regardless of race, gender or nationality.
If you are seeking help because you are your partner has had an affair ~ I have successfully worked with many couples helping to restore trust and connection.
Feelings experienced by both partners can be completely overwhelming.
If you have experienced the trauma of discovery, you may be feeling a broad range of feelings from intense anger to extreme sadness. Recurrent thoughts that you cannot control are frequently with you and they can be triggered by a whole array of things. It can affect your sleep, your dreams, your appetite and your life. You may feel like you need to know more and more about the affair, even when you realize it hurts so much to uncover new layers or just focus on what you already know. And it can feel hopeless. It frequently seems like these feelings will never go away and you can never forgive.
If you have had an affair, often times the feelings of guilt and shame are so intense that you cannot put them into words. When your partner is triggered, you first inclination may be to give as little information as possible ~ to move forward and not focus on the past. When your partner continues to be angry and/or sad and you feel responsible ~ you can also have deep feelings of anger, sadness and hopelessness.
If you and your partner want to work on it, there can be real hope. The EFT process for assisting couples in navigating affairs is supported by the new science of love, and can give you a road map back to each other. It takes time and effort, but forgiveness can emerge and reconnection can occur. My clients often ask me if there can be recovery from an affair. I depends on the situation and the couple, but in many cases, the answer is yes.
"The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is today."~ Author Unknown
- My office is on the second floor of 516 E. Lancaster Avenue in Downingtown.
- It is between Healing Hands Massage and the Human Services Building.
- Parking is in the alley directly behind the building (there is no parking on Lancaster Avenue/Route 30).
- You can get to Sycamore Alley either at the shell Station (Where Route 113 turns into Whiteland Avenue) or after the Human Services Building.
- If you are going west on Lancaster Ave. and come to route 113 you have gone too far.
- If you are going east on Lancaster Ave. and come to the Black Hawk Center you have gone too far.
- Park behind the 516 Building. Walk around to the front entrance. Go up the stair case to the second floor. My office is all the way back to the right.